Public apologies

Apology #1

To: anyone (especially those without children) that had contact with me between the hours of 5:30pm-7pm today (or during the same hours on any other day in which Sage refuses to nap, Eliza’s two naps total 47 minutes, and I went to bed late the night before).

For: emotional damage (please don’t make any drastic decisions about future family planning)

Apology #2

To: the kitchen staff at Coney’s (a frozen custard place)

For: the very sticky booth we left, and the number of times Eliza snuck in to tour the kitchen while I was trying to buy three rounds of frozen custard. [How was I supposed to know Eliza wanted more than half of MY cone, and that Sage was unwilling to take the vanilla cone, and that frozen custard is so addicting, and that I would eat half of the one we were taking home for Mark before Sage said, “Save some for me, too, Mommy!”???]

Apology #3

To: the husband

For: the significantly lighter, opened package of Dove chocolates. I got confused when I read one of the "promises" [wanna be fortunes] that said "Write a love note to me." It confused me enough that I had to eat a few more, just to look for more clues.

When Mark came home, I told him about the bewildering message. He expressed doubt in my "fortune." I looked through the trash to prove him wrong, resulting in two tragic things. 1. I had to admit how many chocolates I had actually eaten. 2. I had to admit I probably am going crazy, because it actually said "Write a love letter this week."

This is a bad sign. I would like to blame it on dyslexia, but I think it probably has more to do with overconsumption of chocolate...several days in a row.